Birkheads the Dad!

So it just came across the wire that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole's daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern (as if that name wasn't enough). The parting contestants will take home a fabulous gift package including the paternity test home game "Keep it in Your Pants" and the 1978 album Life for the Taking by Eddie Money.

Seriously, do you think any of these creeps would give a damn, if that baby didn't have a shot at the Marshall estate? I've watched a lot of Maury, and the closest I've seen to this kind of circus act is when some poor sap wants to believe he's the father of at least one of the 6 kids he's been raising despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Maybe Anna just had a talent for picking men that fervently wanted to have kids and settle-down to a quiet life in the suburbs. Let's recap: We have former boyfriend Larry (Dick-head) Birkhead, attorney Howard K. (KY) Stern, and Prince Frederic von (A-hole) Anhalt. It must really suck for Anhalt, because Zsa Zsa doesn't strike me as the "forgive-and-forget" kind of woman - in fact she kinda scares me after that whole traffic-cop incident years ago.

I just hope whoever is awarded custody sets enough money aside to pay for this poor kids therapy sessions after she realizes how she became a cash-prize in the fornication lottery!